Trying To Treat A Parrot

(We are all working at computers in a design class. One of my fellow students speaks up:)

Student: “Does anyone have any [Popular Analgesic]?”

Me: “Yeah, I do.” *I bring the bottle to his desk* “One or two?”

Student: “No, it has to be [Popular Analgesic].”

Me: “This is; it’s just the generic kind.”

Student: “It has to be [Popular Analgesic].”

Me: “This is that kind, just the generic, drug store version that doesn’t cost as much.”

Student: *after a long pause* “It has to be [Popular Analgesic].”

Me: “This is the generic version of [Popular Analgesic]. It is just like that medicine, exactly, exact same ingredients, except it doesn’t have the brand name on it, and it doesn’t cost as much.”

Student: *after a longer pause* “It has to be [Popular Analgesic].”

Me: “You know how we call tissues Kleenex, even though they’re not necessarily made by the Kleenex company? This is kind of the same thing. Same product, made by a different company, for cheaper, because it’s not the brand name.”

Student: *after an agonizingly long pause* “It has to be [Popular Analgesic].”

Me: “I guess I don’t have anything for you.”

Teacher: *under his breath* “How the h*** did he pass the entrance exam?”