Trying To Scam The Entire Region

It’s 2:56 in the morning on a Monday night, and we close at three. I’m the manager on duty when the phone rings.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; what can we do for you tonight?”

Customer: “Say your name for me one more time?”

Me: “It’s [My Name], sir.”

Customer: “Well, my name is [Customer], and I know [Regional Manager] of [Our Restaurant] Eastern, and I’ve got two free pizzas coming for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you repeat your name for me?”

The customer does, spelling out his last name.

Me: “Thank you. Okay. There are two problems with this. First, we’re a franchise store, and we don’t have a regional manag—”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. The regional manager for all of [Restaurant] East.”

Me: “As I was saying, we don’t have a regional manager. We’re a franchise store. There are only two stores on the east coast so far, and they’re owned by the man who opens this store four days a week.”

Customer: “Well, that’s—”

Me: “Sir, the second problem is that I have a wall chart with the name and email of everyone on the corporate staff, down to the assistant level. There’s nobody by the name you’ve given anywhere on there.”

Customer: “I think you’re mistaken.”

Me: “I think you’ve fundamentally misunderstood our corporate structure.”

There’s a bit of a silence.

Customer: “Whatever. I suppose I’ll just have to order something and get it refunded later.”

Me: “That’s absolutely your prerogative. What can we do for you tonight?”

He went on to show a complete lack of any knowledge of our store, the kind of food we sell, our prices, or our menu. After providing excellent customer service, I took his card information, and the delivery went out — but not before he tried to sneak the name of our owner out of me. I put a note on the wall about his name and address.

The part that gets me most is he could have just Googled it or come in one day; the owner’s name is in the lobby like four times. And no, we never did hear back about that “Regional Manager.”