Trying To Put The Subject To Bed

(I’m registering for gifts for my wedding with a friend of mine. After a while, my friend asks if we can take a break so she can look at mattresses for her new apartment. I’m standing outside the mattress area with the registry gun, waiting for her to finish. An employee walks up to me.)

Employee: “You can’t put mattresses on your registry.”

Me: “I know. I’m just waiting for my friend.”

Employee: “Okay, but you can’t register for mattresses.”

Me: “I’m not. I’m waiting for my friend who is looking at them.”

Employee: “They don’t let you put mattresses on wedding registries.”

Me: “I KNOW. Do I need to not stand in this area with the gun? I’m not scanning anything. I’m waiting for my friend.”

(I gesture to my friend, who is trying out mattresses.)

Employee: “It’s just that you can’t register for a mattress.”

Me: “LISTEN, I know that I CAN’T register for a MATTRESS. I am NOT REGISTERING FOR A MATTRESS. I am waiting for my FRIEND. Whatever, I’m going over here now…”

Employee: *calling after me* “Just don’t try to register for a mattress! It won’t let you!”