Trying To Improv-eyes

(My husband is incredibly forgetful, and always forgets to put on his glasses. His eyesight is terrible. I am chopping vegetables in the kitchen one night when he walks in without his glasses.)

Husband: “Honey, can I help you with the vegetables?”

Me: “No, you’re not even wearing your glasses. You can’t see.”

Husband: “Aw, honey, I’ll be fine. See, I can do it!”

(He grabs the knife and tries to cut a tomato, but misses and cuts his own finger instead.)

Me: “I told you that you can’t do it without your glasses. Go put some Neosporin on that.”

Husband: “But I’m telling you: I can do just fine without my glasses.”

(He stumbles out of the kitchen, whacking his head on the wall and tripping over the dog.)

Me: “…yeah, okay, Mr. Incredible.”