Trying To Get You Fired

(Our store is in one of the bigger malls in the city, and we don’t open until 10 am. At 8:25, as I’m getting the store ready to open and working on our “before-open” tasks, the fire alarm goes off. It is NOT a drill, and everyone is being asked urgently to leave. As I’m locking the doors so that I can evacuate, a lady approaches me.)

Lady: “Hey! Can you let me in quick? I just need one thing.”

Me: “…Seriously? You do hear the fire alarm going off, right?”

Lady: “Yes, but I drove all the way here, and I really do just need this one thing.”

Me: “Listen, that fire alarm is not a drill. And I am not walking back into a store full of tinder so you can buy your one thing.”

Lady: “Well, I never! I should be allowed to get this one thing.”

Me: *turn to leave* “No.”

Lady: *as I’m leaving, starts to scream profanities at me*

(Best part? She had to be forcibly removed from the mall by authorities, and I got to watch her in the parking lot screaming at the firemen and police who removed her from the burning building.)