Trying Their Breast To Be Annoying

| Related | March 6, 2012

(I get overheated easily, so I tend to show cleavage. My family is seriously irreverent, and therefore my grandmother and mother routinely try to ‘pitch’ things into it—M&Ms, etc.—anything that looks like it’ll fit. I recently went bra shopping and bought one that has a little cushion thing that ‘separates’, and incidentally FILLS the space they pitch things into.)

Me: *to my mom* “So, I realize that in a normal family, I wouldn’t have to do this. Look.”

(I point at my bra.)

Me: “You cannot pitch things into my cleavage now. Please do not try.”

Mom: *looking* “Ooh!” *pokes at the padding* “I could stack stuff there! You have a table!”

Me: “NO! No stacking! No pitching! I’m gonna start wearing a bib!”

Mom: *completely straight-faced* “If you do that, I’ll throw stuff that sticks to it.”

Fiancé: *trying very hard not to laugh* “Why?!”

Mom: “Because I can!”

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