Trying To Get A Cheap Room Is A Team Effort

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2017

(A man calls the hotel. He is obviously inebriated.)

Caller: “Yeah, what is the cheapest room you guys have?”

Me: “That would be our standard room with one bed, and that is currently going for $106 per night.”

Caller: “What?! Why the h*** is it so expensive?! I just had a room with you guys and I only paid $62, and that was for a larger room for two nights? What the h***?”

Me: “$62? That doesn’t sound like anything we offer here, and we haven’t changed our prices in nearly three years. When did you stay last?”

(He gives me the date and his full name. I pull up the reservations and verify the price.)

Me: “So, you stayed here on [dates] in a room with two queen-sized beds, for four people; is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s me.”

Me: “And you paid cash and debit?”

Caller: “Yes. No, I only paid cash, no debit, and it was $62 all together.”

Me: “Well, let’s see, your address is [address]?”

Caller: “Yeah! That’s me! It was $62 for the two nights, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, it says here you paid $109 plus tax, and you paid a combination of cash and debit for a total of just under $250.”

Caller: “Okay, yeah, but you guys gave me a discount because there were teams there and they were making noise.”

Me: “I’m looking at your bill, sir, and there was no discount applied anywhere. Even if there were, I still couldn’t give you a room at that price. The discount wouldn’t apply.”

Caller: “Well, are there any teams coming in this week? If there’s a team I can get it for $62, right?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t offer discounts just because we have teams staying here; that’s not how we do business.”

Caller: “Well, what the f***?! You guys don’t believe in courtesy and comfort? How the h*** can people sleep when there are teams there, playing in the halls and making noise? I can’t sleep when you have teams in, so I should get a discount. That’s f***ed up!”

Me: “First of all, if we had people playing in the halls and making noise we would kick them out; we would not allow them to disrupt our guests and then just offer a discount for the inconvenience of not being able to sleep. That would be ridiculous. Second, we’ve never, in seven years that I’ve worked here, had a hockey team behave in that way. In fact, we pride ourselves in the fact that we work so closely with these teams, and they are nothing but kind and courteous. Third, if you know, as you claim, that you can’t get any sleep here when we have teams, why would you specifically ask for a room on a night when we have a team in? That makes no sense. In any event, the room is $106 plus tax per night, breakfast included. If you want a room, I will happily rent to you at this price, but I have to ask that you sober up a little before you come to check in; we have many guests in tonight and I wouldn’t want to disturb anybody.”

Caller: “You’re f****** crazy, b****! This is a s*** town for losers to live in. I can get a suite in [Big City four hours away] for $30, tax included!”

Me: “Really? Because I was there a couple months ago, and the cheapest rooms were the dingy road-side motels that were going for $89.”

Caller: “Okay, yeah, I lied. Just give me a f****** room; it’s my girlfriend’s birthday.”

Me: “Sir, based on your behavior during this call, I will not be renting to you this evening. I suggest you try the truck stop motel across the bridge; they are the only other place in the area that charges less than us, and they have a bar and restaurant on site with security. You might be more comfortable there. Have a good night.”

(I hang up, message my boss to tell her about it and she tells me I did the right thing. An hour later, a well-dressed woman in an expensive luxury car pulls up. As I’m getting her information, I realize that the address is really familiar.)

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but are you in any way related to [Caller]?”

Customer: “Yes! He’s my boyfriend. I think he spoke to you earlier, correct?”

Me: “Um, yes, he did, and honestly, after that, my boss and I are not comfortable renting to him.”

Customer: “You see, this is how it is. My boyfriend is full of s***. Last time we were here, I paid for the room myself on my debit and covered the rest in cash. We were here with another couple, and at the end I split the final bill between the four of us, and he paid me back his share, which was $62. He got it in his drunken little head that the room only cost $62 for the two nights. When he finally got off the phone, I told him he was an idiot; that’s why he’s sitting in the car waiting for me instead of standing here beside me.”

Me: “Oh… well, okay, then. I guess I can rent to you, but I do need a cash deposit, and I need your word that there won’t be any problems tonight. If there are, my boss will have my head tomorrow.”

Customer: “I promise that there will be no issues. We have three kids, and it’s impossible to get any time alone for whoopee, you know? This is like a treat for us. I’ll keep him busy for you; no worries there, hun.” *winks*

(I ended up renting them the room for two nights, and there were no issues, but the man refused to make eye contact with me for the duration of their stay.)

1 Thumbs
877