Try Not To Echo Their Crazy

I work as a medical assistant at a cardiology group. I hook up twenty-four-hour monitors to patients, among other duties. One woman has appointments for an echocardiogram — or ECG, which is an ultrasound of her heart — and a Holter monitor (a portable ECG) hookup.

I get her in a room and explain the monitor.

Me: “You have to be careful as it’s kind of small, it runs on double-A batteries, and you have to keep it on for twenty-four hours without it getting wet or coming off.”

Patient: *Suddenly yelling* “Nobody told me anything about these tests! I can’t be near any electricity! None whatsoever!”

Me: “Uh… why?”

Patient: “Because I have circuits in my face!”

She then stormed out, shouting at someone on her cell phone.