A Trunk-ated Version Of Events

(The deli in our store has only recently reopened, and with that has come a number of new coworkers, so we’re all just getting to know each other. With old coworkers, I’m known for my murder humor.)

New Coworker: “So, my boyfriend of five years and the father of my child was apparently cheating on me, and now he’s just going around talking trash and hitting on all the girls here in the store to annoy me.”

Me: “Just letting you know, I have a car trunk big enough to hold a body and can line it to prevent evidence or leakage.”

New Coworker: *stares then starts laughing* “Well, okay, then!”

(Fast forward a few hours and the new coworker is sharing her tale of woe with another old coworker.)

Old Coworker: *turns and points to me* “You know, if you need to get rid of someone, [My Name] has a big trunk and likes knives.”

Me: “Told ya!”