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True Definition Of A Beer Belly

, , , , | Legal | July 29, 2019

(One day, at around 10:00 pm, I am working the till at a small store. A man comes in wearing a high-vis jacket. He walks around for a while, going to the back. He opens and closes all of the beer fridges before buying some gum and then leaving. The man comes back about 45 minutes later, drunker than he was before. He staggers to the back and opens the beer fridges again. I tell my manager that I have a suspicion about what he is doing, but there are no cameras and the man has no bag to hide the booze. He buys more gum and leaves. My manager follows him around the side of the store and sees that he is drinking beer. My manager is angry that the guy has been stealing, but can’t do much as the guy has already left the store. But then, he comes back. We both watch as the man walks to the beer coolers and slips two six-packs into his high-vis jacket. My manager stops the guy before he gets to the till to buy his gum and asks him to remove the beer.)

Drunk: *slurring* “It’s not beer. It’s fat. I’m fat.”

Manager: “Sir, please remove the beer from your jacket. I know that you’ve stolen from us twice already. If you remove the beer and leave, I won’t call the police.”

Drunk: “It’s not beer! I’m fat!

Manager: “Please–”

Drunk: “I’m fat fat fat!

(The drunk ran for the door, and my manager just let him go with a sigh as the guy was shouting and acting crazy and he didn’t want us to get hurt.)

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