Treating Us Like We Were Born Today

(I’m a restaurant with my sister. The waitress comes over to take our order. It’s about six in the evening.)

Waitress: “What can I get for you?”

(My sister and I order. My sister’s order includes a margarita.)

Waitress: “I love margaritas. I’m probably gonna get some tonight; my friends are taking me out celebrating for my birthday.”

(She makes several more comments about her birthday through the meal to us and other nearby tables, such as:)

Waitress: “I wish I could go out for a birthday dinner with my boyfriend.”

Waitress: “I’m getting off in 20 minutes to go celebrate my birthday so I’ll just leave the check here.”

(At first we congratulate her on her birthday but by the end of the meal my sister rolls her eyes any time it’s mentioned. At the end of our meal a busboy comes out to take our empty plates while we’re finishing our drinks and talking.)

Sister: “Why didn’t she just request the day off? She clearly doesn’t want to be here on her birthday.”

Busboy: “It’s not her birthday. Her birthday’s in November. Apparently she read something online about people giving better tips if they know it’s your birthday and I guess she’s trying it out.”

(It’s January. We didn’t leave a tip.)