Being Treated This Way Is No Joke

(This is a very American fast food place. We serve burgers, fries, frozen custard, etc. This customer comes in about once a month and tells the same jokes every time he orders. This time, he happens to come in with his family.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you have sushi?”

Me: “No, sir. We have burgers.”

(The rest of his family orders.)

Customer: “And I’ll have some cheese turds.”

Me: *reads back their order to make sure I’ve got everything, including the cheese curds* “That will be [price], please.”

Customer: *hands me a couple of twenties, which I check for a watermark* “Oh, those are good; I just made them this morning.”

(Later, I’m cleaning the dining room, when the son-in-law tells me they spilled a cup of iced tea. I end up getting down on my hands and knees to mop up the yellowish spill with a towel.)

Customer: *to his wife* “You did tell her it’s pee, right?”

Me: “Sir, you’re not as funny as you think you are, and most people don’t pee ice cubes.”

Wife: “I don’t think anyone’s ever told him that before.”

Me: “Then it’s about time.”