Treading Softly On A Hard Argument

(I am helping in the pillows department. I have been showing a customer some soft polyester pillows, as she seems to like them.)

Customer #1: “Hmm, what’s that one over there? It looks nice.”

Me: “Oh, that’s a memory foam pillow. It’s quite a bit firmer than the one you’re looking at there. Here, you can feel it.”

Customer #1: *squeezes pillow* “Oh, yuck! As if anyone could sleep on that, it’s like a brick!”

(She continues in this vein for some time, until I show her some feather ones and leave her to browse them. Another customer approaches me.)

Customer #2: “I’m looking for the cheapest pillows you’ve got!”

Me: “Okay, well we have this twin pack of polyester pillows over here for $10!”

Customer #2: “Oh, that’s a good price.” *squeezes pillows* “Eww, they’re way too soft! I could never sleep on that, there’s no support in them!”

Me: “In that case, you would probably like a memory foam or latex pillow.”

(I spend some time showing her the harder kinds of pillows. Suddenly I notice that Customer #1 is standing in front of me looking very disapproving.)

Customer #1: “You told me that a soft one would be better!”

Customer #2: “Well, she told me that hard ones are better!”

(They glare at each other for a few seconds, then both turn on me.)

Customer #2: “Which ones are really better?”

Me: “Uh, well neither kind is better than the other. A lot of people like polyester and feather ones because their head sinks in to it and they have a comfortable night’s sleep, plus they’re much cheaper. But some people need more support, especially if they have a back or neck problem. A lot of chiropractors suggest memory foam and latex pillows for that.”

Customer #1: “Oh, yeah? Well I bet you have these ones on your bed because they’re better!”

Customer #2: “Pfft, yeah right… she would have these ones!”

Customer #1: “Nuh uh!”

Me: *cutting into the nonsense* “Well, actually I have two [brand] memory foam pillows on my bed, and two [brand] polyester pillows on my bed. Sometimes I feel more comfortable with the hard ones, sometimes the soft ones, other times one of each! It means I get to pick and choose each night.”

(The customers both look like they have been hit in the face with one of our gourmet fry-pans. They make eye contact, then silently begin browsing different pillows. Even better: I later saw each of them leave later on, both of them carrying two hard and two soft pillows!)