Trapped In The Kar(ma) Park

(I am an operator for a security company. I oversee the fleet, alarms, and cameras and answer calls. We have one gate we have to watch out of a parking complex, as a lot of people try to skip paying, saying the machine is broken.

We are instructed to, no matter what, not open the gate unless people have paid for their tickets. If the machine is broken, I have to let people know that the bill will be sent to the owner of the car instead, seeing as we see the license plate.

One guy calls in:)

Customer: “Hey, I’m at [parking complex] and the machine is broken. Can you open the gate?”

Me: “Have you tried [possible solution]?”

Customer: “Just open the gate, please.”

Me: “I can do that but I have to caution that the machine should be up and running, so if I open the gate I’ll have to send the owner of the car a bill for it.”

Customer: “But the gate is broken.”

Me: “I understand, sir, but you have to pay either way.”

Customer: “OPEN THE D*** GATE!”

Me: “Sir, I have to know if you accept that the payment will fall to the owner of the car. It’s policy.”

Customer: “No, I do not accept! Let me out!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t until you acknowledge what I just said.”

Customer: “I’m calling the cops! This is stealing!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. Feel free to call the police.”

Customer: “Call the cops! I want you to do it!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not calling the cops; they have enough on their plate.”

Customer: “I’m going to f****** kill you!”

Me: “That’s unfortunate.”

Customer: “What’s your name?!”

Me: “I do not have to provide you with my name. If you have a complaint, my company has ways to figure out who you spoke to.”

Customer: “Where are you?! Come here so I can kick your a**!”

Me: “I’m not coming to you so you can kick my a**.”

(My coworkers are listening intently. I’m usually the one who handles calls like this because I remain indifferent to threats and shouting. I care when you’re polite but I don’t have any sympathy for rudeness, and least of all for threats of violence.)

Customer: “Where are you?! Tell me, so I can come kick your a**!”

Me: “I’m at our HQ at [address]. If you have trouble finding it, it’s the big building full of security guards. You’re being extremely rude, so I’m not letting you out. You can walk home and get your car tomorrow. Have a good night.”