Trained To Bug Out

(Three of us are sitting in Friend #1’s house when a massive roach comes scurrying across the floor. Friend #2 has a terrible phobia of bugs. To our surprise, she calmly sits there as the roach runs across her foot and under a table.)

Me: “[Friend #2], are you okay? How did you do that?”

(She stands up and grabs her purse.)

Friend #1: “What are you doing?”

Friend #2: “I’m taking the train.”

Me: “What train?”

Friend #2: “The nope train.”

Me: “The what?”

Friend #2: *still dead calm* “I am boarding the nope train to f***-this-s***-ville.”

(She took off running and refused to come back in.)