Train Your Kids To Pull The Brake On Impulsive Thoughts

I drive passenger trains for a living. One day, I was happily driving along at 180 km/h, or about 110 mph, when someone used the emergency brake. The train I was working with is actually equipped with emergency contact phones at several locations, including the emergency brakes, so I immediately tried to contact whoever pulled the brake. For some emergencies, like medical ones, it is actually better that I override the emergency brake and instead drive to the nearest town since we’d otherwise be in the middle of nowhere, and seconds can really count. But I got no reply despite several attempts.

So, after the train had come to a stop, I had contacted the train traffic controller, and I had applied the parking brake, I went back to check. No one had seen a thing, and no one had any emergencies. Then, I spoke with the woman who was sitting with the emergency brake above and behind her head.

Me: “You didn’t hear me trying to contact you?”

Woman: “Yes, but it didn’t have anything to do with me. I didn’t pull it.”

Me: “But you must have seen who did it; they would’ve had to lean over you as it is right above you.”

She turned around to look.

Woman: “Oh, it’s right there! But maybe it was pulled someplace else?”

Me: “No, it was definitely here. These are mechanical and need to be reset manually after someone pulls them.”

I did the reset maneuver.

Me: “Are you sure you didn’t see anything?”

Woman: “No, no one came near here. But… Well, my two-year-old was climbing on me. Maybe it is possible that they pulled it?”

Me: “Well, a two-year-old wouldn’t even be in my top ten list of suspects, but it does seem like they’re the most likely culprit, and since they and everyone else seem emergency-free, I’ll get this train rolling again.”

In the end, we were about ten minutes late.