Tougher Than A Boxer, Pound For Pound

(My boyfriend is really into boxing, and we frequently talk sports together. He tends to ramble about them at length after we turn off the lights for bed, before he starts dozing off. In this incident, we’re talking about the fact that Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao have never had their big fight.)

Me: “I really thought it was going to happen that time.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, but if it was going to it would have been at least five years ago.”

Me: “If only Mayweather wasn’t such a chicken.”

Boyfriend: *sleepily* “Mayweather is a big, giant, wet p***y. He’s all talk.”

Me: “Babe, the problem with that analogy is that a big, giant, wet p***y isn’t afraid to take a pounding.”

Boyfriend: “This is why I love you.”