Touchy Feely Service

(I work at an adult store, which allows the employees to be a little less professional at times because of the content matter we have to deal with. I am currently helping a young couple.)

Guy: “Are we allowed to touch the clothing displays?”

Me: “Displays?”

Guy: “The boxed displays on the wall?”

Me: “Oh! Hon, those aren’t displays. Feel free to touch them to your heart’s desire; just don’t open them. I can do that for you.

Guy: “Really? We’re from New York and all the shops up there won’t let you even touch the displays; they keep everything hidden in the back. They have to get everything for you and they always have to ask you every five seconds if you need help.”

Me: “Really? Well Hon, welcome to Maryland; we don’t give a s***.”

(I made two regular customers that night.)