A Touching Story About The Lord

(I am a cashier and server at a pizzeria in a mall food court. Note: I am Pagan and wear a pentacle necklace. At this business, you are allowed to refuse to take jewelry off if it is a religious symbol. This customer is a die-hard Christian and is very pleasant to me until we reach the register)

Me: “Welcome to [Pizzeria]! how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hello, dear. I would like the number one combo, with a cheese slice, side of baked ziti, and a regular drink please!”

Me: “Sure thing! Coming right up!”

(I put the pizza slice in the oven to let it get hot, and walk over to the pop machine which usually blocks customers’ view.)

Me: “And what kind of soda would you like to go with your meal today, ma’am?”

Customer: “I would like a regular sized [soda] please!”

Me: “All right! Here you go!”

(I go grab her pizza and put it on her plate with her ziti.)

Me: “Your total will be [total], Please!”

Customer: “Out of twenty, please!”

(While I am getting her change, she notices my pentacle necklace and says this…)

Customer: “Blasphemy! You are a witch! You worship Satan! You live your life in sin!”

Me: “Um… excuse me?!”

Customer: “You probably even touch yourself at night, don’t you!? What do you think Jesus thinks about you?!”

Me: *completely blank faced and emotionless* “Ma’am, here is your change, and to answer your question, yes, I do… and I think of Jesus while I do it. He probably thinks I am pretty awesome because of it!”