The Numbers Are Against Him

(I am the kind of person that becomes very antsy when someone touches a thing I own without my permission. I also have issues with paranoia. I get up from my desk in study hall, and when I am on the other side of the room, a student near my desk grabs my calculator. I see it as soon as I start going back to my desk, and ask for him to give it back. He tries tossing it to another student, but the student doesn’t bother with trying to catch it, and lets it fall to the ground. I pick up the calculator and make sure that it works.)

Me: “You do realize that calculators can break when they fall on the floor, right?

Student: “Don’t be stupid; my calculator falls all the time, and it still works! Watch!”

(He proceeds to just drop his calculator, pick it up, and then tries to use it.)

Student: “…oh s***! It broke!”