Totally, Like, Excruciatus

(Two girls enter the bookstore. I recognize them as being two ditzy girls from my English class.)

Me: “Hey, [Girl #1] and [Girl #2], what’s up? I didn’t think you guys liked hanging out in bookshops?”

Girl #1: *giggles* “Duh! Did you like think that we’re geeks or something?”

Girl #2: “Like, duh, I’m just looking for this book for my sister.”

(Said sister happens to be one of my good friends.)

Me: “Oh, what book does Jen want?”

Girl #2: “It’s like, this book with some totally geeky wizards or something.”

Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter? She’s already got those books.”

Girl #2: “Like, no duh! It’s like, written by some totally old-ish chick named Jane or something. It’s like, about this chick named Emma.”

Me: “Emma by Jane Austen hasn’t got any wizards.”

Girl #2: “Ain’t Emma that witch or something? That nerdy, bushy-haired one?”

Me: “That’s Hermione Granger. Her actress is Emma Watson.”

Girl #2: *huffing* “What-EVER! I’m like, so totally out of here, you geek!”