Top Up Is Looking Down

(Oyster is a smart-card method of payment for public transport in London. You put money on it to pay for your fare, validating it on entry and exit, which deducts the correct fare from your account.)

Me: *sees customer walk up* “Hel—”

Customer: *slams Oyster and £20 on counter* “Top up.” *answers phone*

Me: “How much?”

Customer: *chatting on phone*

Me: *waits ten seconds* “How much would you like?”

Customer: *covers phone speaker* “Hurry up! I’m going to miss my train!” *back on phone*

Me: *puts £20 on Oyster, gives Oyster back*

Customer: *snatches up Oyster* “Where’s my change?”

Me: “There is no change. You gave me £20. I put on £20.”

Customer: “Why did you put it all on? I didn’t tell you to do that. I only wanted £5. Why would I put more than £5? I don’t need more than £5! You need to give me my money back!”

Me: “Okay, give me your Oyster; I’ll adjust it.”

Customer: “No, you just need to give me my money back. I didn’t tell you to put on £20. That’s your problem. You just need to give me my money.”

(I had to get up and walk away from my till.)