Too Quick With The Lick

(My family’s dog is very curious. As such, she inspects things in the only ways a dog can: sniffing them and licking them. On this particular occasion, my brother has left a drink from a fast food restaurant on an end table while he goes to get something from the kitchen. As he’s coming back to the living room, the dog jumps up on a chair and starts sniffing the cup.)

Dog: *sniffs straw*

Brother: “Don’t lick that!”

Dog: *licks straw and runs off*

Brother: “Oh, f*** you!”

Me: *dies laughing*