Too Much Red Ink To Buy The Present

(My husband and I both like tattoos. My mother, while supportive of my right to make my own choices, hates them and can’t help herself from commenting on how I am ‘mutilating’ myself. My husband and I are discussing the new tattoos we are planning, specifically my full-sleeve.)

Me: “So, we’ll get as much done as we can afford in this first session, and I was thinking that you could maybe get friends and family to chip in for the rest? For a birthday or Christmas present, maybe.”

Husband: “Oh, thanks, honey. You’re going to put me in charge of asking your mother for tattoo money.”

Me: “Well, you wouldn’t have to tell her what it was for.”

Husband: “I thought you loved me.”