Too Much Red And Green At Christmas

A long time ago, I used to work at a mobile/cell phone company in Glasgow, Scotland. I got promoted to shift supervisor just before the holiday period and was fairly pleased with myself. However, this meant I had to work Boxing Day, where we often encountered the returns and the less-than-pleased recipients of devices.

As I go to unlock the door this particular December 26th, I notice a very well-built, bald-headed man angrily pacing outside. For anyone who doesn’t understand how scary a sight this is, Glasgow is typically known as the stabbing capital of Europe. So, naturally, I am not looking forward to the upcoming conversation

I wait until he isn’t really looking to unlock the door and hurriedly shuffle behind the counter before he can storm in to try to get something between us.

Me: “Hello, sir. What can I do for you?”

Customer: *Slams a device on my desk and starts screaming.* “This piece of s*** was sold to me last week, and it’s faulty. You’ve ruined my daughter’s Christmas!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll get that sorted for you. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “What does it matter? Christmas ruined. I had to deal with a sobbing child all day yesterday!”

Me: “That’s awful, I’m really sorry to hear that. Would you like me to refund or replace it if I can’t fix it?”

Customer: “You can’t fix it. It doesn’t switch on. Look!”

He starts frantically pushing the red button. At this point, I already know what’s happened. Most phones you and I know have an off/on switch. However, this model had an OFF switch (red) and an ON switch (green). I push the green button. The phone switches on immediately.

Customer: “How did you do that?!”

Me: “Oh, this is a bit of a tricky phone type if you don’t know them.”

I explain.

Customer: *Very sheepishly.* “Oh… er… okay, thanks mate.”

He leaves, red-faced.

At which point, I went and sat down. My colleagues in the back who had heard the commotion peeked their heads out to see if I had been turned to mush.