Too Early For Proper English

(In my first semester of college, I have an eight am class clear on the other side of campus. I am not once on time. One particularly bad morning I am walking to class, for my eight am midterm, at around 8:35. I stop in at my usual coffee spot on the way with my usual elderly coffee lady.)

Me: *apparently speaking in what I assume is poor German for no apparent reason other than fatigue* “Ich möchte eine tasse kaffe, bitte.” *German for: I would like a cup of coffee, please*

Coffee Lady: “Eine große oder kleine?” *German for: Large or small?*

Me: *very much confused* “Did I ask for coffee in German?”

Coffee Lady: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh. Uh, große, bitte.” *German: A large cup, please*

Coffee Lady: “Coffee’s on me. You’re going to miss your test.”

(I run to class. As it turns out she is from Germany and was just as surprised as I was that I ordered in German! After my midterm, I came back and chatted with her and we have been friends ever since! And she’s bought more than a few cups of joe for me!)

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