Toll-Free Escorts

(My fiancée often jokes that when she’s away visiting family or friends, I’m living it up with hookers back home. Because of this, I rig my cell phone with a questionable contact. When my beloved reactivates a phone and realizes it was missing many contacts, I handed her my phone without a second thought.)

Fiancée: “What the h***?!”

Me: “What? What’s wrong?”

Fiancée: “’Silk Escorts’?! What’s that?”

Me: *I start laughing hysterically* “Whoops. Forgot about that.”

Fiancée: “I thought the hookers were a joke!”

Me: *still laughing* “Call it.”

Fiancée: “Call it?”

Me: “Yes, call it.”

Fiancée: *she does so, and after listening for a minute…* “Really?”

Me: “Yup. It’s the phone number to the toll-free directory.”

Fiancée: *laughing* “I hate you so much right now.”

Me: “Your laughter says otherwise. You love me.”

Fiancée: “Yes, I do, but I’m starting to forget why.”