Today, We Are Learning About Patience

I’m Irish. Ireland is going into full lockdown at midnight tonight, so I want to stock up on some essentials before it kicks in. One of those essentials is a couple of sides of very fresh salmon — emergency sashimi supplies.

So, I get to the fishmonger. He doesn’t have any sides cut, but he has a couple of whole salmon — Yay! — so he starts to fillet and debone them. For some weird reason, Ireland, an island entirely surrounded by seafood, isn’t that into seafood, so this is a biggish order. He begins to do his thing, and I wait.

We are interrupted by an “ahem.”

We look up. It is a small shop, with social distancing, one customer inside at a time. The doorway is fully occupied by an Entitled Woman. She has the hair, the stance, the “ahem,” the works.

The fishmonger looks back down at the salmon and decides that it needs to be trimmed some more.

Entitled Woman: *Ahem!*

Better check for bones, too. Again.

Entitled Woman: *AHEM!*

Perfect. Time to start on the second one. Nice careful trim. Check the angles, trim again.

Entitled Woman: *AHHHHEEEMMMM!*

Might be a bone, better double-check.

He kept her hanging on for twenty minutes! It was so funny. Her urgent question? “Do you have any clams?!”