Today Marks A New Low
I work in a call center for a major cell phone carrier.
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. Can I get your first and last name to get started?”
Customer: “[Customer].”
Me: “Thank you so much. And how are you doing today?”
Customer: “Terrible! How can [Company] get away with hiring such f****** incompetent employees? Get me a supervisor.”
Me: “I’m sorry that you have had such a hard time before reaching me. I’m happy to get you a supervisor, but I will need to fill them in on what is going on. Could you tell me a little bit about the issue you are having?”
Customer: “My f****** bill is too low!”
Me: *Pauses* “Your bill is too low?”
Customer: “I can’t believe the audacity of your company. I was told my bill would be $92 and you are charging me $82. This is an insult to me! I am a world-famous doctor, missy. I am fifty-two years old and my twenty-two-year-old girlfriend is a major soap opera star in the largest city in America, Chicago. You are all so incompetent, I bet you thought the largest city was New York, but you’re wrong. It is Chicago. You all had better make my bill higher, or I’m going to use my influence as the President’s best friend to shut down [Company].”
Me: “Let me assure you that I am here to help. I looked over your bill. It appears to be a little lower this month than expected because of an autopay discount you were due last month which did not appear on your last statement.”
Customer: “I don’t care why it is lower. If you don’t make it what you quoted me, I will shut you down!”
Me: “All right, I don’t normally do this, but as a one-time courtesy for such a long-time and loyal customer, I’ll go ahead and charge you the additional $10. Is there anything else I can help with?”
Customer: *Suddenly very cheerful and accommodating* “No, thank you so much! I spoke with five reps before you, and you have been the only one to actually fix my issue. I’d like to speak with your supervisor to give good feedback!”
Me: “No problem; let me grab someone for you. One moment, please.”
Question of the Week
What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?
