Today Is A Good Day To Lie

(My husband’s sister is obnoxious. She’s always better than you at just about everything, or thinks she knows more about a subject than you. Note that she is woman in her 30s, not a child, so it is in no way endearing. One day while visiting my in-laws, she’s there, and I mention to the nephews that I’m thinking of learning Klingon.)

Nephew #1: “Oh, cool! It’d be really awesome to be able to do that.”

Nephew #2: “You could put stuff on a t-shirt in Klingon and nobody would know what it said! It’d be so awesome!”

Sister-In-Law: *smugly* “I love Star Trek so much that I’m learning Klingon! It’s so easy that I’m nearly fluent!”

(I roll my eyes, knowing that she’s full of bull, but I decide to have a bit of fun with her.)

Me: “Then what’s a p’tak? I’ve heard it in several different series but never could figure out what it was.”

Sister-In-Law: *scoffs* “Oh, that’s an easy one! It means ‘friend.'”

(I cough to hide my laughter, as does my husband, because we know that it does NOT mean ‘friend.’ The nephews even shake their head at her in disbelief.)

Me: “Are you sure? I’d hate to accidentally insult someone by calling them a p’tak. I don’t think it means ‘friend.’”

Sister-In-Law: *snottily* “Yes, it means ‘friend.’ You must not be much of a fan if you think it means anything else.”

(In her arrogance, my sister-in-law smiled proudly at what she thought was the greatest compliment. Any casual Trek fan knows that ‘p’tak’ is an insult by the context in which it is used in the show.)