To Deal With A**holes, Describe Yours

(For the past few days, we have gotten an obscene phone caller.)

Me: “[Law Office]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *whispering* “Oh, yeah… Oh, baby.”

Me: *confused at first* “Hello?”

Caller: *moan*

Me: “This is a law office, and we do track phone logs.”

Caller: *hangs up*

(Next day:)

Me: “Good afternoon. [Law Office]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *moans and whispers*

Me: *sigh* “Hello?”

Caller: “Yeah, baby, oh…”

Me: “I’m not joking about the call logs, you know. Police will be notified if you do it again.” *hangs up*

(Next day:)

Me: “Good afternoon. [Law Office]—”

Caller: *whispering* “Oh, baby… Oh, yeah…”

Me: “So, let me tell you about this painful zit I have growing near my a**hole!”

(The pervert never called again.)