To Be Fair, For Some Of Us, Spooky Season Is Year-Round!

I had friends in college whose parents, uncles, aunts, and grandparents came from Vietnam during the war. 

Most landed in Washington DC, but a few flew into New York City, having never been to America. This was the mid-1970s, when Halloween costumes were more handmade and, honestly, much more frightening. And of course, you could drink in public or while driving in more places than you can now.

It was close to 9:00 pm when the plane landed, and [Relative #1] was being picked up by some other relatives.

Relative #1: “This is so scary! Why is that man dressed as Satan? Is that man a vampire?”

Relative #2: “Oh, yes, Americans. Not all good Catholics like us Vietnamese. They all dress like Satan often. They’ve never even heard of suits.”

Relative #3: *Nodding sagely* “It’s hard to find a nurse because so many women dress as a… ‘saucy nurse’ every day.”

Relative #1: “Why are kids demanding candy? What tricks are they pulling?”

Relative #2: “Americans are very gluttonous. The children stand on your doorsteps 365 days a year demanding food and treats.”

Relative #3: “The tricks they play are horrible.”

Relative #1: “Half the city seems drunk! And there’s five more Satans and a… man in a cape?”

And so on, and so on. They had the new arrival fully believing that America was like this twenty-four-seven for three solid days before he finally realized it was a once-a-year party.