Timescare  

My cousin is having a destination wedding in Mexico, and we’re all staying in the same resort. I am underage at this point, so I’m assigned with the task of watching over my brother who’s been drinking. He ends up getting way more drunk than I have ever seen him, before or since. My brother, mother, father, and I are all in the same room. My brother is so drunk that he’s wrapped himself around the toilet and refuses to move. It’s around this time our ceiling starts leaking.

My dad dreads calling the front desk, since they have been nothing but a pain the whole time. They’ve been trying to force my parents into a timeshare meeting, and pushing upgrades we don’t want. They also have a habit of disappearing whenever we need help. My dad reluctantly decides to call after a couple of puddles start forming. The front desk starts asking if we would like to upgrade for an additional cost, and my dad keeps telling them he just wants to switch rooms. They then tell him they only have upgrades available, and they will waive the cost if he goes to the timeshare meeting. Being exhausted and just wanting a dry place to sleep, my dad agrees.

We are all woken up around two am to change our room. My brother is still passed out in the bathroom, and we can’t open the door to get him out. It takes him quite a while to figure out how to stand up and get out of the bathroom, and at this point the man from the front desk is fairly annoyed. We all pack up and start on our journey down the hall. We’re not even two doors down from our room when my brother spots a trash can, and immediately makes a run for it and makes a disgustingly loud display of getting sick. The front desk attendant is mortified and just tries to move things along. My brother stops at every single trash can he can find to repeat his display. I eventually can’t help but laugh, and this irritates the front desk attendant even more.

Finally we make it to the end of the very long hallway and to the final hurdle: the elevator. My brother immediately goes pale and starts shaking his head, but we have no idea where we’re going, so we have to follow the attendant. We end up going up three stories, and we are all deadly silent, just waiting for the inevitable moment. Somehow, my brother holds out, and as soon as the door opens he expels into the trash can waiting outside the elevator. The front desk attendant is now shaking with anger, but still says nothing. We finally manage to get to our room, my brother curls around the toilet, my dad tips the man, and all is good.

The next morning, my dad goes to the front desk to discuss the timeshare meeting. He is then told that all fees have been waived, but he can still go to the timeshare to get credit for the gift shop, which he decides to do, anyway, since he had planned around it. He also asks if they discovered the cause of the leak in our ceiling. Turns out the girls above us got wasted, ran their jacuzzi, and then fell asleep. The jacuzzi flooded their room and leaked down to us. They then let him know, with quite a bit of disdain, that the girls above us happened to be the maid of honor and a couple bridesmaids from our party. They were my cousins. Turns out none of my family can hold their liquor, but the hotel staff didn’t bother us anymore.