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Time To Order A Pie r²

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: GhostOfSorabji | October 12, 2020

The missus and I get a bit of a hankering for a pizza so I give our local pizzeria a call and order an 18” meat feast for collection.

A short while later, I stroll down to the shop to collect it. While I am waiting for it to be boxed up, a woman comes bustling in and raps her knuckles imperiously on the counter demanding service; the only person serving was currently out the back dealing with my order.

The lass dutifully comes out, tells me that my pizza will be out shortly, and turns to the woman to take her order.

Customer: “I want two 12” meatball specials and be quick about it: I have two hungry kids at home!”

Me: “Excuse me, but if both pizzas are for your family, you’re better off getting one 18” pizza: it’s cheaper and you’ll get more pizza for your money.”

A 12” is £8.95: an 18” is £12.50.

Customer: *looks me up and down* “Don’t be stupid! Two 12” pizzas are more than one 18” one. It’s bloody obvious! Didn’t you do maths at school?”

Me: “I did… which is why I know one 18” pizza is bigger than two 12” ones by about 10%.”

She snorts derisively and turns to the lass serving.

Customer: “I’ll be back in twenty minutes… and my pizzas had better be ready!”

With that, she sweeps out in a cloud of cheap perfume. I look over to the lass serving who could barely contain her laughter:

Me: “We get this all the time. Doesn’t matter what you say, people never believe that the 18” is a better deal than two 12” ones. They always think we’re trying to rip them off.”

This is why you pay attention in maths class. The pizza was delicious!

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