Time To Kick Some Honey Bun

(It’s 11 pm and I’m working with a new employee. I’m showing her how to check in the night delivery. The phone rings and she answers it.)

New Employee: “[Convenience Store], how can I help you?”

(She listens to what the person on the other line has to say, then she replies.)

New Employee: “Yes, we have honey buns… Yes, they are fresh… Yes, they are soft… No, sir, I’m not squeezing them!”

(She hangs up the phone immediately.)

Me: “Ugh, what happened?”

New Employee: “He was asking me questions about the honey buns and the conversation started getting gross.”

(The phone rings again. I answer it this time.)

Me: “This is [Convenience Store].”

Caller: “Hi! I’m calling to ask you about your honey buns.”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “Are they soft and warm?”

Me: “Soft and prepackaged.”

Caller: “Ooohhhh, sooo soft. Can you open one up and put your fingers in it and lick the honey bun while talking to me? I’ll pay you after for the honey bun with my credit card over the phone.”

(I’m extremely annoyed with this whole thing.)

Me: “Nope. Sure can’t. Stop calling here, freakazoid.”

(I hang up the phone and ten seconds later the phone rings again. I answer it and plan to put an end to this.)

Me: “[City] police dispatch.”

Caller: *in a very serious voice* “Hi, I…” *click*

(The new employee starts laughing.)

Me: “It works every time.”

(He never called again.)