Time To Find More Mature Work Friends

I’m working in an office with quad cubicles. My teammate is on the other side of a full wall next to me, so I can’t see her. She’s very good friends with our other teammate, who shares an open desk with her. On the other side of them are two other employees I enjoy chit-chatting with through the wall. My teammates usually whisper to themselves or listen to their music with headphones.

A few months into the job, my teammate asks me to join her, our other teammate, and some ex-coworkers they remain friends with out to eat after work. They go once a month and I feel excited to be included. I mark on my calendar when we’ll go out together the next month as soon as we plan it and start looking forward to it again.

One day, the other employee across the cubicle from me starts talking to me, and the conversation goes towards my age. I’m probably the second youngest worker but I’m always top-performing; nobody has ever had a problem. She goes on to say that all “kids” my age — I’m 22 and she’s 34 — think they know everything and that I’m going to be an entirely different person in ten years time. Getting frustrated, I shortly tell her she’s wrong, not everyone is like her, and I am trying to work.

Her teammate cracks a joke and we all laugh. I guess my teammate had been listening and was sick of hearing the conversation and laughter because I hear her exclaim, “I’m done!”, get up, and leave for a smoke break.

I don’t think anything of it until she stops having conversations with me unless it is in regards to work. It’s the same with our other teammate, but their whispering continues, especially any time I attempt to start a conversation with them or speak with anyone else in my area.

When the time comes to go out with them again, I get an email from her saying they canceled and will reschedule later. A month goes by, and I hear them whispering to each other about what day is good for them to go out and if the other ex-coworkers can make it.

I shoot her an email and ask when we are going to go out again. About ten seconds after I send it, she snaps out of whispering and answers me with a loud, “I have no idea!”

I don’t mind that they don’t want me included anymore, I guess. It just bothers me that she lied to me and somehow thought I couldn’t hear their whispering conversations through the cubicle wall. Though I have long since quit that job, this sticks in my mind and I’ve pretty much avoided any friendship possibilities in the workplace.