Time To Cut Those Apron Strings Before They Get Singed

I was way into my thirties and had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years when we decided to go on a holiday together. My mom, who became extremely religious after my father died, freaked out when I told her about my plan.

Me: “I’ll be going on a holiday for a few days with [Boyfriend].”

Mom: “What? I am not permitting you to!”

Me: “Well, this is not a request for permission, actually.”

Mom: “How dare you?!”

Me: “…”

Mom: “It’s [Boyfriend]’s fault! He’s turning you [slur for another religion]! It’s the greatest sin! You’re going to Hell, and you’re dragging me there, too!”

Me: “I think I’m too old for you to still bear my sins.”

Mom: “You’re going to Hell, and you’re dragging me there, too!”

She ran to her room and locked herself in.

I said, to an empty space:

Me: “He’s an atheist.”