Time To Call The Plumber

, | | Right | June 8, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s a crazy technical support experience you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

Me: “Internet help-desk, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I can’t connect to the internet.”

Me: “How long has it been since you last connected?”

Customer: “I was connected until a few minutes ago.”

Me: “Have you changed anything in your network?”

Customer: “Well, I was downloading some movies over the net, but the download got too slow. I called a friend of mine and he told me that some movies could’ve gotten stuck in the cable. So I cut the cable to see if I could yank it out of there. I didn’t find anything, so I taped the cable back together. Now, can you get it back to work?”

Me: *grimace*

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  • Screenbones

    Words can’t even explain just how dumb this person is…

  • tulip_poplar

    Oh, no! This sounds like it could have been a Dilbert cartoon from a couple of decades ago. Hard to believe anyone would do this nowadays!

    • Konton

      After dealing with customers, I could believe it could happen

      • tulip_poplar

        It reminds me of http : // dilbert . com / strip / 1996-05-02

    • This story is actually FROM a decade ago; it was originally posted in the first year the site launched in 2007.

      • tulip_poplar

        Oh wow! How did you find out the original year it was posted? Edit: Just noticed the user name. Duh! Anyway, thanks for the info on when it was originally posted. It said “Throwback,” but I didn’t know whether that meant it was from last year, or what.

        • We’re using Throwback Thursday to highlight some of the old classics that our newer readers might have missed. We’re not sticking to a particular rule as to how far back we will go, as long as the stories are good!

          • Apologetic CheeseChomper

            ThThanks for doing this, it’s certainly interesting to see what we’ve missed!

          • Jelaza

            Completely off topic, but (re: your username) don’t ever apologize for chomping cheese. Cheese is awesome.

          • Apologetic CheeseChomper

            I’ll keep that in mind, thanks :’D And I definitely agree!

          • NessaTameamea

            Oooh I see, so you can repost without people shouting “REPOST!” all over it :p

            Nah, just kidding, it’s a fine idea to highlight the good stories, as with the random button you have to be lucky to get a really good one.
            Also: yay for random button being back! 😀

          • CyNical CyNthia

            The random button isnt working 90% of the time, now…

  • Luke Green

    Oh my God, how? How can you be that stupid?

    • Kathryn Baggs

      The same way people like cup holders that come with their computer tower.

      • Craig Lashbrook

        someone got thrown out of a local library for that!

      • Luke Green

        I actually use the CD player from my computer tower as a cup holder sometimes, I am very careful with it, but I do know that its original purpose wasn’t that. Those people make me laugh.

      • Nightshade1972

        That’s why I’m just as glad the all-in-ones have vertical drives now. Although I’m just waiting for some idiot to openly wonder why their cupholder is suddenly sideways, it won’t hold their drink, and now they’ve spilled it all over everything!

    • Tossaway

      As much as I’d like to believe this is fake, I’ve simply met too many people who should have restraining orders to keep them away from computing devices.

  • Abigail Hermione Irwin

    “In a word, no.”

  • RyderOrRiot1

    So stupid

  • Bill Cademy

    Even worse:
    When I worked the help desk for a nation-wide company, one of our locations was getting carpet replaced. The carpet installers needed to get the cables out of the way. Instead of unplugging them, they just cut them – all of them. The next morning, they couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t get online.

    • Max

      Hope the carpet installation firm agreed to pay all the charges.

      • Stephanie Gertsch

        Was “they” the carpet cleaners or the company?

        • Difdi

          What carpet cleaners?

          • Stephanie Gertsch

            Mispost. My bad!

  • Chris B

    Being an IT professional, I’ve heard of people asking where the “Any” key was on a keyboard, and I’ve heard people say their coffee cup holder in their tower is broken. I have NEVER heard someone so stupid they think their movies could get “stuck” in a cable. If this is true I hope that person never bred.

    • Kryss LaBryn

      Have also done IT, and I had a guy who refused to pay for his whole 80 GB/month Internet package but only for what he actually used each month (about 3 GB), who racked his bill up to almost a thousand bucks before he was cut off for non-payment.

      That really pissed him off (getting cut off when he was paying for what he actually used, dammit! –lord, I could *not* get it through to him how his billing worked), so he returned his modem to the company’s store.

      He then called in and got me, and asked why he couldn’t get online. ><

      • Nightshade1972

        If 80GB is the smallest package he could have ordered, I can sorta see why he’s annoyed that he’s paying for data he doesn’t (by a long shot) use. However, if he could have bought a smaller data package (which would presumably have been less money, as well), one wonders why he didn’t just do that.

    • Loren Pechtel

      I could see someone being gullible.

  • Lorraine ER

    After all, the internet is made up of a series of tubes! Figures they get clogged once in awhile. 😉 😉

  • Clay

    So this was from back when NAR was just making things up, right?

    • Matlatzinca Montoya

      Was it also before you had a life? Oh wait…that’s still the case, huh?

    • Dsru Bin

      If you think that this story is made up, you never worked front-line tech support for any period of time.

  • Andrew Weaver

    I’d rather make it Throwback Thursday everyday with archive binging, but the search options still have the sites blended up ever since the site merger.

    Recoding the “site” tags to separate into individual tags might be a lot of trouble. so maybe you could code the site to stack tags to narrow the searches further? That could solve most of my problems right there.

  • Vyrmis

    No. No. I refuse to believe it. Even if it’s true, I need to preserve what’s left of my sanity.

  • Denton Young

    OMG. That brings back bad memories of being first line customer support while working at HP.

    That was back when i still used reddit and went on Tales From Tech Support. Some of the posts there were just…. well, if I had still had any faith left in humanity I would have lost it.

  • Mike Carr

    I don’t doubt that someone could be that stupid, but I do doubt that that person could cut through the cable without a self-inflicted injury.

    • Morisith

      Internet cables are quite harmless I think? Even if plugged in they are nowhere near as charged as power wires at least

    • Clint

      He means he doubts they could use a cutting tool without hurting themselves, wow.

  • Scot MrSpellcheck Rogers

    Certainly Sir. But we have to send out a team with our special data vacuum device to try and get that movie out of your cable. They will do their best, but it usually only works if we can get to the site within an hour,kind of like a Stroke in a person. Once they have done the data vacuum, they can get your system working again. As a special rush service, we have to charge an on-site fee which is determined by the size of the movies. Can you give us a list of the movies please?

  • Sandy Pham

    I remember commenting this here, maybe, but I’d like to write it down again: this’s a story on here, or some other site that is similar but specific for IT/computer jobs:

    An IT guy was trying to help a customer, and told them to unplug the device (probably a wifi modem), wait a few minutes then plug it in again. Every time he asked the customer to do so, they said they did but actually didn’t, the IT could see that from his end. Finally he decided to call the customer out on it (politely) and the customer gave some stupid excuse like they was afraid that thye wouldn’t get the same Internet back (For some reason they thought every time they connect, they get a different “Internet” with different websites, forums…)

    So the IT guy told them there were viruses/bugs moving in the cable, and they had to unplug it, shake the wire cable violently for a few minutes to kill the bugs/make the bugs fall out. The customer did and everything went ok. A month or so later, another IT went to the office and told everyone that while he was fixing computer at a customer’s house and informed the customer that their pc had viruses, the customer pulled out the cable and shook it violently to kill the viruses.

    The original IT guy didn’t dare to say anything.

  • John L

    Well there you go. Your bandwidth was leaking all over the floor. You didn’t tape it well enough…. I suggest you buy a new cable, the one you cut is leaking….

  • Dragon Nexus

    “Maybe it’s an electrical problem. Try sticking a fork into the outlet to pry out that pesky stuck movie.”

  • Vedant Pratap Singh Jadon

    I..honestly can’t believe someone could be *that* stupid