Time To Booty Them Out

(I work in a student center where university students can come borrow games or other academic equipment. I’m a female and have an unusually large behind, much to my embarrassment.)

Me: *chatting with a regular* “I noticed you brought a friend with you today.”

Regular: “Yeah, imma whoop him in COD.”

Me: *laughing, I turn to the new guy, and notice he’s been staring at me silently* “Do you need help with anything before you beat [Regular]?”

Customer: “Mmmm…”

(He stares at me awkwardly for a while before leaning on my desk.)

Customer: “Listen, I gotta ask. Are you mixed?”

Me: “No, I’m about as white as they come.”

Customer: “D***! You ain’t got a white girl booty, though.”

Me: *awkwardly laughing* “Well, that’s just genetics I guess…”

Customer: “No, listen, if you were my girl I’d ride that all day every day.”

Me: “Uhh…”

(At this point the line is backed up, and my other female coworker, who just started, is staring at me, wide-eyed. Luckily, our regular noticed what was happening.)

Regular: “Dude, don’t be a jack-a**.”

(He then dragged the other guy away as I heard him say “What?! It was a compliment!” I informed my boss, who is also female, and haven’t seen the guy since.)