Time Is Just A Social Construct, Or Something, Part 4

When I was in college, I found myself in a situation where my lease was ending but there was a three-week gap before my new apartment would be ready to move into. My girlfriend at the time offered for me to move in with her for that three-week period even though we had only been dating for about three months. I had originally planned to stay with a friend and was a little hesitant, but I decided that if there was a chance of the relationship getting serious, this could be a good little trial run. So, I moved in and had a very eye-opening three weeks. 

I am a planner; I like to think ahead and kind of build out the flowchart of all the possibilities. Conversely, part of [Girlfriend]’s charm was her spontaneity, and I thought this made a good balance. Once I moved in, I learned that what I thought was fun spontaneity was actually a complete inability to even conceptualize any time other than the present.

Leaving the house was always chaos. [Girlfriend] wouldn’t remember that she hadn’t done laundry in weeks until she went to get dressed and there were no clothes. She would get in the car and be blown away that there was no gas. She was constantly running back to the house because she would drive somewhere and realize she had forgotten to bring things she needed. None of this had come up before moving in because I had always planned the dates and done the logistics. 

But the worst was food. Food completely blew her mind. She never so much as thought about a meal until she was starving. Prior to me moving in, we had agreed that during the week, we would both handle our own food, and on weekends, we would eat as a couple.

Week one, I meal-prepped some basic meals so that when it was dinner time I had something to heat up or quickly cook and had a relatively nutritious meal. [Girlfriend] would suddenly realize she was starving, scavenge the kitchen in a near panic, and end up eating random junk she found, more often than not giving herself an upset stomach. 

One day, she saw me with my meal.

Girlfriend: “Hey, you always have great-looking food at dinner. Can you help me learn to do that?”

Me: “Sure. Honestly, it was mostly just trial and error, but I can help. What did you want to learn to make?”

Girlfriend: “What about that thing you made for me a couple of weeks ago?” 

That was some braised short ribs I make that aren’t difficult but do take a while to cook. 

Me: “Sure. We are both off on Saturday, so let’s do it then.”

Saturday morning came, and I got up and asked [Girlfriend] if she wanted to go to the store with me.

Girlfriend: “No, I’m not hungry right now”. 

That was a little odd, but I figured, “Oh, well,” and just went and got the supplies. 

Later on, I got back and made us some lunch, and then we went to play some video games. Around 3:00 pm, I got up.

Me: “Okay, we should go get dinner started.”

Girlfriend: “I’m not hungry right now.”

Me: “I thought you wanted the short ribs for dinner?”

Girlfriend: “That does sound good. We should have those.”

Me: “Well, we normally eat around 7:00. They take thirty minutes to prep and then braise for three hours. It’ll probably take longer to prep if I’m teaching you how to do it, so we should start now.”

Girlfriend: “But I’m not hungry now.”

Me: “I’m not either, but if we don’t start soon, they won’t be ready for dinner.”

Girlfriend: “I’m not hungry, so why would we cook?” 

Me: “Because we will be hungry later?” 

Girlfriend: “Last time we had them, you just pulled them out of the oven and we ate!” 

Me: “Well, yeah, but last time, I had made them and put them in the oven earlier in the day because I knew when you were coming over.” 

Girlfriend: “You aren’t making any sense. Neither of us is hungry. Let’s just play our games.” 

We went around in circles for a bit before I finally just dropped it, and we went back to our game. Then, that night, she couldn’t figure out why we didn’t have short ribs.

That story and a whole lot of other instances of her not being able to look even a couple of hours into the future eventually drove me up a wall, and when I moved out, we broke up.

Related:
Time Is Just A Social Construct, Or Something, Part 3
Time Is Just A Social Construct, Or Something, Part 2
Time Is Just A Social Construct, Or Something