Time For Them To Make Like A Tree And Leave

| Washington, DC, USA | Right | August 13, 2014

(I work at a small landscaping company that does tree replacements for trees removed during construction on sewer lines. These replacements are monitored by the county. My boss (one of the company owners) is replacing a tree at a wealthy man’s house.)

Boss: *to homeowner* “Hello, sir. We are with [Landscape Company]. We are here to replace your [tree].”

Homeowner: “About time you guys got here. I’ve been waiting for my replacement tree for months!”

Boss: “Sorry about the wait, sir. We have your tree ready to plant.” *gestures to the tree*

Homeowner: “I don’t want that piece of s***! I want a cherry like my neighbor got!”

Boss: “I’m sorry, sir, this is the species of tree that was removed from your yard according to my planting permit. Your neighbor received a cherry because that’s what was removed from her yard.”

Homeowner: “I don’t give a s*** what kind of tree was in my yard or hers before! If you plant that tree I will rip it out of the ground myself!

Boss: “Then you don’t want us to replace the tree?”

Homeowner: “That’s what I just said, you idiot! You really don’t need to be smart to be a landscaper, do you?”

Boss: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. We will do everything we can to fix the problem. If you could just sign this document saying you rejected a replacement tree we will get everything sorted out for you.”

(The homeowner signs the paper then goes back in his house. My boss tells me to load the tree back in the truck.)

Me: “So, do we have to get him that cherry?”

Boss: “H***, no! He rejected the tree on our contract and confirmed he would rather not have a tree. We aren’t obligated to give him s*** now! If he had been a bit nicer I would have pulled some strings and gotten him that cherry but forget that!”

(My boss called our contact at the county office and explained that the homeowner had declined the replacement tree and signed the rejection papers. Apparently a month later the homeowner called to ask where his tree was and received the news that he rejected his replacement and would no longer be getting a new tree.)

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