Time To Have A Couple Of Words With Uncle

(My father is very strict on swearing. We are very young, and “bloody” and “bum” are the worst words ever.)

Uncle: “Sit your bum there.”

(My sister and I are shocked.)

Me: “MUM! Uncle said a rude word!”

Mum: “It’s all right; he’s old enough to say it.”

Uncle: “I only said bloody ‘bum’!”

(My sister and I are scandalised. Mum laughs.)

Sister: “He said another bad word!”

Uncle: “Bloody bum, bloody bum!”

(For years, I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word “album,” in case I got in trouble for saying “bum.”)