Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 17

(My fiancée, her roommate, and I have been discussing our plan for the zombie apocalypse in great detail. It’s gotten to the point where we have a Word document open and are listing the people we’d take and the skills they’d provide.)

Me: *to fiancée’s roommate* “Okay, so you’re going to be the leader and medic. I’ll be in charge of food distribution and negotiations.”

Fiancée: “Don’t you think I should be in charge of negotiations? I’m really good at dealing with people.”

Me: *stares at her blankly* “Didn’t you just get into a fight with a stranger yesterday over a parking space?”

Fiancée: *laughs* “Yeah, you’re right. Just put me down as ‘breeder’, then.”