Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 16

(I decide that my boyfriend and I were serious enough to have the ‘Zombie Apocalypse Talk’.)

Me: “I’d feel safe with you in a zombie apocalypse. You’d keep me alive far longer than I would be able to on my own.”

Boyfriend: “You’d have your uses.”

Me: “I would? Cool! How would I help?”

Boyfriend: “If I was able to keep you alive long enough, and food was scarce, then I could eat you to keep myself going.”

Me: “Whoa! You’d turn to cannibalism? That’s so mean! You should want to protect me above anything else!”

Boyfriend: “You should want to keep me alive. It’s what a good girlfriend would want. You’d be nurturing a champion! I could survive this thing!”

Me: “You’re an a**. I kind of hate you right now.”

Boyfriend: “You don’t have to like me. You just have to be delicious.”