Three Sheets To The Wind And None Left For The Wedding

When my fiancée and I got engaged, her parents invited my parents and me to their house for a meal to celebrate and to try and get to know them a bit better.

I offered to drive my parents and noticed that they were fairly “merry” when I collected them, but unfortunately, I didn’t realise just how drunk they actually were until weeks later.

My wife and I hadn’t discussed any wedding costs with them at this point, and although her parents had offered to put something toward it, we had assumed that we would pay most of the cost ourselves. However, on the drive to my in-laws’ house, my parents grandly announced that they insisted on paying for half the wedding.

They refused to hear of it when I told them that their offer was far too generous, and then they made the same announcement to my fiancée and my future in-laws several times over the course of the night.

My fiancée and I ended up planning a relatively small event. In the course of planning, we both sent my parents some of the plan information and some initial estimates by email and messenger, which they typically made some polite but non-committal comments about.

Then, I visited them one weekend and had this conversation with my Dad.

Dad: “Why are you sending us all this information? It’s nice that you want to keep your Mum in the loop, but the financial stuff seems like it would be a bit personal.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Dad: “Well, why do we need to know what this is costing you?”

Me: *Laughs* “Good one.”

Dad: “I don’t see what’s so funny about this. You don’t actually expect us to pay for any of this, do you?”

Me: “Are you being serious right now? We didn’t ask you for a penny! You offered and actually insisted on paying for half! We’ve been actively trying to keep the price down to avoid asking you for too much.”

Dad: “Rubbish. If you can’t afford to get married, then you shouldn’t be getting married.”

My mum later insisted on giving us a gift toward the total cost, but I was told that since my sister had eloped without getting married, they would need to give her the same amount of money as anything they spent on us, so they couldn’t afford too much for that reason. 

From offering to pay for half the wedding, their gift was reduced to a small contribution, which they then later reduced further to paying a token toward the cost of the reception. They didn’t have any change in circumstances and are fairly well-off; they were just so drunk on the night of the meal that they made an extravagant offer but didn’t remember making it. My parents are alcoholics and I knew they were drunk, but this was the first time that either of them had done anything like this.

Whilst I was grateful for any gift, having to explain all of this to my fiancée and in-laws — specifically that my parents weren’t keeping their promise because they had been so drunk that they didn’t even remember making it — was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life.