Threat Of The Ages

(We are at a family get together with my cousins and grandparents. My older cousins have historically always gone out at night before, got trashed, and have eaten everything in the house. My grandpa is fed up, and decides to leave a note for them.)

Grandpa: “If you touch any of this, I will break your fingers knuckle by knuckle.”

(Sure enough, everything is there the next morning.)