Thoughts And Prayers Cause No Actions

, , , | Legal | February 13, 2019

(I am new at an office that deals with contracts. I get my first notification of a customer that’s passed away, through an email from one of the heirs.)

Me: “[Coworker], it seems [Person on Contract] has passed away. Can I close the contract?”

Coworker: “Did they include a death certificate?”

Me: “No, but they did include some sort of prayer leaflet and the invitation for the cremation.”

Coworker: “No, that won’t do. We have to have a death certificate.”

Me: “Really? I mean, isn’t this proof enough?”

Coworker: “Nope, it’s not.”

Me: “Why would anyone try to fake a death?”

Coworker: “Ah, blissfully naive [My Name]. I was once like you… until the day someone came to the office and tried to close an account with fake prayers and fake mourning cards.”

Me: “No way! Someone did that?! How did you find out it was a fake?”

Coworker: “We didn’t, but City Hall did. They found out the person was still alive… when that person tried to claim the benefits for the heirs… themselves.”

(Turns out the lady in question wanted to emigrate and burn all bridges so she wouldn’t have to pay rent, etc. The heirs applied for special benefits to “fly the body to the country of birth,” which was granted. However, the “deceased” thought it was okay to claim this herself as travelling expenses and that no one would recognise her. My coworker was not informed of what happened to the lady, but I hope it involved a little room and a huge fine.)

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