Thou Art A Fool

(Our school puts people in AP classes who failed their end of course exams from the previous years, so the majority of people in an honors class aren’t the brightest of people. The AP English class hour that I’m in is known for having the highest amount of dumbest people. And we recently began reading Shakespeare.)

Student: *reading his part* “Miss, I don’t understand what this guy is even saying!”

Teacher: “Well, modern text is right under the original text. If you don’t understand, why don’t you read the modern text to better understand it?”

Student: *exasperated* “Why doesn’t Shakespeare talk like a regular person?”

Me: “…He is speaking like a regular human being. I mean he lived in the 16th century and—”

Student: *getting annoyed* “No! I mean why doesn’t he talk like people now talk?”

Majority of the Class: *agreeing with him*

(We never did finish the play, because the students were complaining about how Shakespeare was speaking. I had to leave the room because I was laughing so hard.)