Those Who Sell-t It Dealt It

(I’m reporting my self in for this. I’m the cashier at a large retailer. As a theft-prevention method, we use ink-tags that have to be removed at the desk. Unfortunately there isn’t much consistency with what items do and don’t have them, so we miss quite a few. If that happens, the customer will have to return to the store and show us a receipt and we will take them off.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I’m just bringing in this jacket. It seems one of the employees left the tag on.”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear about that, ma’am. I hope you didn’t have to come in from too far away.”

Customer: “Actually, I had to drive all the way in from [a town 30-40 minutes from the store] and I really wanted to wear it for a Christmas Party.”

Me: “Well, then! This is entirely unforgivable! We’ll have to have track down this incompetent employee and horse-whip them for you!”

(The customer begins to snicker at me, but I think it’s because she’s playing along. I’ve already removed the tag and am folding it back into the bag.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sure they didn’t mean to. I’ll forgive them. Besides, I remember exactly who did my purchase.”

Me: “Oh? Who? I’ll bring out the cat’o’nine-tails for you.”

(The customer hands me the receipt and starts into a full laugh. I look at the employee number and realize why: it was mine.)

Me: “Ah… sorry about that, ma’am. Well, here’s your jacket and have a great day.”

(I’d never been so embarrassed at work, but I’m glad it turned out well.)