Those Rare Times When Cash Is King

(Having just finished my weekly shop, I go to the till and scan all of my items. After bagging — in the UK, we bag our own items — I follow the prompts on the card machine. The card machine flashes a strange message, which looks sort of corrupted, and then it asks me to remove my card, which I do.)

Cashier: “Excuse me? You need to put your card back in.”

Me: “It told me to remove it; I think there’s something wrong—”

Cashier: *patronizing* “Okay, sweetie! You need to put your card in. I’ll tell you when to put your PIN in, and then when to take it out.”

Me: “I know how to do that! There’s something wrong with the machine.”

Cashier: “Just put your card in, sweetie. I’ll tell you when.”

Me: *rolls eyes to myself* “Fine.”

(I put the card in the machine and this time it makes a horrible beeping noise. I’ve worked in retail and have never seen anything like it before. It asks me to remove my card again.)

Me: “It’s telling me to remove my card again.”

Cashier: “Nuh-uh, sweetie, you need to put your PIN in first.”

Me: “I’m not putting my PIN in that thing! Could you swipe it, please? I’ll sign.”

Cashier: “You removed it too soon!” *speaking to me like I am five years old* “Put it back in.”

Me: “You know what? I’ve got cash. Just put it through as cash.”

Cashier: “Sure thing, sweetie!”

(I walked to customer service and reported the faulty machine, but didn’t say anything about the cashier. As I was leaving, I realised I had forgotten something so I darted through the tills again. I chose a different till. I overheard the manager explaining to the cashier that she wasn’t even meant to be logged in on that till because it had a known fault and was waiting for a repairman.)